forgiveness – A Place to Meet

There are some things we just can’t share with other people. Issues we have with our spouse, or child, or friend, for example, if exposed, will give others a negative view of these people we love. We might feel betrayed, used, unseen, or unappreciated, but to voice it…

Don’t complain, God says. “Do everything without complaining and arguing.” Phil 2:14 (NLT)

Make sure that your words are beneficial and uplifting, God says. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Agape love covers over an offense, God reminds us. To voice our frustrations and hurts causes division that often cannot be repaired. “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)

God’s direction is for our own good. Venting can devastate relationships. We are warned in the book of James that our tongue can set our whole life on fire. (James 3:6c)

Yet when we do not give voice to our negative emotions, they stagnate deep within our soul, changing us for the worse. Perhaps a root of bitterness takes seed. We become an Eeyore, the gloomy, pessimistic, sarcastic donkey in the Winnie-the-Pooh books.

We may not be able to correct the other person’s behavior. In fact, we may even be interpreting their behavior all wrong. Our sinful nature tends to make everything about ourselves. Or maybe it is our attitude that is skewed and needs correction.

So, it is important to deal with the issues we have with others, to sort them out, decipher their cause, and determine if they mirror God’s ways. The best way to address them is to go before God.

Sometimes it is best to sit down and lament. At other times, we hold conversations with God under our breath as we go about our day, unable to let go. However, whether we approach God formally or informally, we need to go before the throne of grace.

Hebrews 4:14-16- “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Just today I was fretting over a housecleaning issue, murmuring to God. He didn’t leave me with my resentful attitude for long. At a local coffeehouse, my husband and I ran into a couple we know and we began talking about the longevity of our marriages. The lady commented that marriage is not give and take but give, give, give. She said you don’t always notice the other is giving, but they are in their own way.

It was one of those moments when you know the insight is not human but divine. It may be delivered from a woman’s lips, but the message is from God.

Chances are I have not assessed the behavior of another in the correct light. But whether I have or haven’t made a correct assessment, it’s my attitude that counts. Biblical authors didn’t hide their feelings from God but expressed their anger, disappointment, fear, or despair, because they knew only He could keep their heart from hardening. And God would provide the attitude adjustment.

Photo by Pixabay

I thought I had forgiveness aced. No grudges, no bitterness taking root, no resentment, no harsh judgement festering in me. Those transgressions we encounter as we interact with a great spectrum of brothers and sisters in Christ never entrapped me, hardening my heart against them. Fully aware we all are working through the baggage we carry into the kingdom that must be unpacked before the discerning eye of the Holy Spirit, I was quick to forgive. Until the Holy Spirit exposed, I was not.

Betrayed by someone I thought was my friend, I found myself struggling. Accusations were like knives thrust into my heart, wounding deeply.

But this morning the Holy Spirit clearly pointed out my hypocrisy as I read 1 John 5:1. “Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.” There are no escape routes, no statements giving permission to “love those born of God unless we are wounded.” Therefore, I repent, and ask God’s forgiveness and His help in the way of forgiveness. I know I will need His grace in this weakness. I am finding it difficult to forgive.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Although 1 John 5:1 was isolated in a manuscript, I looked it up in my Bible. In verse three, I learned the love of God is to keep His commandments which are not burdensome. In verse two, the author, who is the apostle John, explains “we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey His commandments.”

Thus, we know obedience to the commandments in God’s Word will ensure our love of brothers and sisters in Christ. What does God command in the way of forgiveness?

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:12-13

It is best to uncover sin swiftly. Recently I pulled a prayer journal I assembled more than 20 years ago from my bookshelf. I haven’t used it in a while. There are five sections: praise, admit, requests, listening, and thanks. Under “admit” I am reminded to read Psalm 139:23-24 so the Holy Spirit can bring to mind things that cause unforgiveness, catching them when the seeds have just been planted so they can be removed before they germinate.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” [Ps 139:23-24]

I was thinking I was doing well with the art of forgiveness until I was convicted by the Holy Spirit. It’s wise to have our head examined, or should I say heart? Let’s invite the Holy Spirit to expose any error in our thought process!

Photo from Pixabay

Let’s Talk:

1-If the Holy Spirit has brought any grievous way to mind lately, please share how He has led you in the way everlasting following the exposure.

2-If you have ever struggled with forgiveness, how did you overcome the struggle?

A Place to Meet

Category: forgiveness

Emotional Issues are Sometimes for Just God and You to Work Out

What Were You Thinking?