There are some things we just can’t share with other people. Issues we have with our spouse, or child, or friend, for example, if exposed, will give others a negative view of these people we love. We might feel betrayed, used, unseen, or unappreciated, but to voice it…
Don’t complain, God says. “Do everything without complaining and arguing.” Phil 2:14 (NLT)
Make sure that your words are beneficial and uplifting, God says. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Agape love covers over an offense, God reminds us. To voice our frustrations and hurts causes division that often cannot be repaired. “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)
God’s direction is for our own good. Venting can devastate relationships. We are warned in the book of James that our tongue can set our whole life on fire. (James 3:6c)
Yet when we do not give voice to our negative emotions, they stagnate deep within our soul, changing us for the worse. Perhaps a root of bitterness takes seed. We become an Eeyore, the gloomy, pessimistic, sarcastic donkey in the Winnie-the-Pooh books.
We may not be able to correct the other person’s behavior. In fact, we may even be interpreting their behavior all wrong. Our sinful nature tends to make everything about ourselves. Or maybe it is our attitude that is skewed and needs correction.
So, it is important to deal with the issues we have with others, to sort them out, decipher their cause, and determine if they mirror God’s ways. The best way to address them is to go before God.
Sometimes it is best to sit down and lament. At other times, we hold conversations with God under our breath as we go about our day, unable to let go. However, whether we approach God formally or informally, we need to go before the throne of grace.
Hebrews 4:14-16- “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Just today I was fretting over a housecleaning issue, murmuring to God. He didn’t leave me with my resentful attitude for long. At a local coffeehouse, my husband and I ran into a couple we know and we began talking about the longevity of our marriages. The lady commented that marriage is not give and take but give, give, give. She said you don’t always notice the other is giving, but they are in their own way.
It was one of those moments when you know the insight is not human but divine. It may be delivered from a woman’s lips, but the message is from God.
Chances are I have not assessed the behavior of another in the correct light. But whether I have or haven’t made a correct assessment, it’s my attitude that counts. Biblical authors didn’t hide their feelings from God but expressed their anger, disappointment, fear, or despair, because they knew only He could keep their heart from hardening. And God would provide the attitude adjustment.
©2025 Susan Cort Johnson *All Rights Reserved
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