Most Christians have heard and even repeated the statement, “We were created for relationship, first with God then with each other.”

     In the image of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit we are built for community and fellowship, like the relationship they have.¹

     I pursue a greater understanding of this relationship and find it while working on the Bible study I co-facilitate at my church. I highlight this section of “He’s Where the Joy Is” written by Tara-Leigh Cobble: “We will only find true happiness and joy as we connect with His identity and purpose—loving and glorifying God with a love that points us outside ourselves to Him and to others.”

She adds, “Jesus summarized all the commands of God as love God, love others (Matt. 22:37-40). It’s the very purpose for which we were created.”

Acts of love are often portrayed as handing someone in need money or giving them a helping hand. But “agape” love, which is an intelligent act of the will, is much more and we accomplish it when we know what’s best for someone because we know them. Agape love is accomplished in relationship.

One of the ways I have built relationships with sisters in Christ is by participating in women’s Bible study. This has become my habit. First in the church I attended 23 years ago and now in the church my husband pastors.

Developing close relationships with women of different ages and backgrounds has increased my ability to love them and others.

As we delve into Scripture and discuss its application during Bible study, we learn about each other’s struggles; we become familiar with the personality traits of each sister in Christ both those traits labeled good and those categorized as bad; strongholds and weaknesses are revealed; spiritual and natural gifts as well as God given strengths are uncovered.

It is with knowledge and understanding that we find the ability to forgive one another, encourage and exhort one another, and truly love one another.

Satan points fingers– look at what that person said, look at what that person did. And thus, he divides us. Satan is a destroyer of relationships which is the opposite of God’s plan.

He got Adam and Eve to damage their relationship with God and he gets us to damage our relationship with one another.

Sin separates. It separated us from God and continues to separate children of God. Acts or words perceived as unkind, feeling slighted or overlooked can cause us to become offended.

But interaction and deep discussion gives us greater insight into the motivation of others. Also, it can reveal how our biases, our upbringing, our experiences narrow our perception and hamper our ability to truly love others. We assume a lot about others based upon our past.

We can develop negative views of people who aren’t like us. For example, if we are quiet and reserved, we may view someone boisterous as obnoxious but they may think we are a snob. Love makes allowances for differences. It does not easily walk out of relationships, whether a church body, a friendship, or a family.

1 Cor 13:4-8– Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ESV

This is Christ-like love and it is easy to be Christ-like when we are alone. However, we put it into practice when we interact with one another.

Never ending love occurs when we get to know someone, really know someone, and come to understand all their idiosyncrasies.

Let’s Talk:

1-Have you ever formed a negative opinion about someone that changed once you got to know him or her?

2-How do you build relationships with other Christians? Do you only mix with those who are like you?

References:

1-“He’s Where the Joy Is, Getting to Know the Captivating God of the Trinity” by Tara-Leigh Cobble. Published by Lifeway Press in Nashville, TN.

     I think of blessings in a new way after reading an essay by Claudia Hinz about being a messenger for the blessing a person needs. It is all about trying to fulfill a homework assignment given by her rabbi. One evening on the Jewish Sabbath he tells the congregation to turn to the person next to them and practice.

     She writes, “Our blessings are stiff and rehearsed.

‘Keep practicing,” our rabbi says, “You don’t get good overnight.’”¹

     Praying over someone is familiar to me, articulating a blessing not so much.

     I think of blessings I have read in the Bible.

     When Rebekah left with Abraham’s servant to become Isaac’s wife, her family blessed her with these words upon her departure:

     “Our sister, may you become

     The mother of thousands of ten thousands;

     And may your descendants possess

     the gates of those who hate them.” Genesis 24:60

     They were parting words. Isaac gave parting words as well near the end of his life when he blessed his son Jacob.

     To Jacob, he said: “May God give you of the dew of heaven and of the fatness of the earth and plenty of grain and wine. Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be everyone who blesses you!” Genesis 27: 28-29

     Both are a statement of goodwill. They seek God’s favor. I can see how a spoken blessing would be stilted if we pattern it in the language of those living centuries before we were born. More appropriately, we may ask God to protect the crops of a farmer we know and bless him with a good harvest, which would be similar to the fatness of the earth and plenty of grain. Perhaps today, those in Christ are more likely to pray what might be considered an Old Testament blessing.

     Instead of stating “I want to bless you,” as Hinz was instructed to do by her rabbi, Christians are more likely to say, “May I pray for you?” and deliver what might be defined as a blessing within the prayer.

     However, we are instructed to speak a blessing in a couple sections of Scripture I can recall from memory.

     “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. Luke 6:27-28 ESV

     Also, in Romans 12:14—“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” ESV

     The Greek word for bless in these verses is eulogeo, which is speaking good words. Our custom of giving a eulogy at a memorial service, speaking well about someone who has died, comes from this Greek word. I am reminded of Ephesians 4:29 where the apostle Paul exhorts us to speak “only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

     When people criticize us or say things that are unflattering, our natural inclination is to defend ourselves or berate the person who is verbally attacking us. But we are to intensely, intelligently will the best for others, which is agape love. Others may not speak in our best interest but we can do our best to consider what is best for them before words pass from our lips.

     In the Old and New Testaments to be blessed is to be granted special favor by God which results in joy and prosperity. However, in the New Testament the emphasis is on spiritual blessings rather than material.²

     Often, I think of blessing people in the material sense. This might be running an errand for someone who is homebound or buying groceries for a family struggling financially.

     But I may try giving a verbal blessing. In her essay, Hinz meets a man named Angel at the café counter of a grocery store when she stops for a coffee drink after buying groceries. It gives her opportunity to practice the homework assignment given by her rabbi. She says, “May you be an angel to everyone around you.” He answers, “I try.” Then she adds, “May you find yourself surrounded by angels.” And he responds, “Thank you.”

Let’s Talk:

1-If you have ever given a verbal blessing, please share what you said in the comments. How was it received?

References:

1-“Angel Practice” by Claudia Hinz, published in the Christian Science Monitor newspaper November 2020.

2-Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology accessed through biblestudytools.com.

     Monday morning, I was at the Department of Motor Vehicles renewing my driver’s license. I so rarely go to the DMV the protocols are unfamiliar.

     “Put your thumb on the blue light.” I hesitate and the clerk points to this small square on the counter that captures your thumbprint.

     The experience made me apprehensive. But why?

     It didn’t take long for the Holy Spirit to identify the reason. Pride. Fear of making a mistake, looking foolish, being looked down upon, made fun of…

     Most define pride as conceit, having an excessively high opinion of ourselves. Or perhaps haughtiness, which is acting in an arrogant manner. But there is a type of pride that prevents us from stepping out.

     An internet search uncovered this definition: “consciousness of one’s own dignity.” It was referred to as self-esteem and the opposite was shame.

     I can hear my mother’s words when I was a child, “What will people think?”

     This phrase usually had to do with family honor. What would people think of our family if we wore shabby clothes out in public, put our feet on the furniture while at a friend’s house, or were unfriendly to a student new to our school.

     Being concerned with what people think can result in good, kind, behavior. But rather than looking at it from the perspective of acting in a pleasing manner to keep from bringing shame on yourself or your family, I would like to consider ways we shame others that result in this apprehension at the DMV and other places. Does our behavior bring shame to another?

     I ask this because I realize my problem with unfamiliar places is a result of past embarrassment or shame. I am fearful of situations that result in these experiences. Knowing this, I tend to focus on reacting well to the actions of others, not allowing their behavior to deter me from practicing righteousness. But I can do more. I can make sure I do not cause such shame and embarrassment to others.

     “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” Luke 6:31

     Sometimes it is impatience we have for others that makes them feel inferior. I hesitate to enter the “self-check” line in a store where I am not used to the machines. Those who routinely self-check can have an attitude of disdain when someone is slower than they are or makes mistakes and requires the clerk’s help.

     I put a check in my mental notebook next to “be patient” with those who are learning a new skill. Patience prevents shame.

     Navigating a freeway system in a large city, I do not know, causes apprehension as well. As I frantically try to read signs so I might change lanes to make the interchanges, other drivers tailgate, refusing to let up on the gas so I can squeeze into their lane to make an exit. Mentally I note, “practice kindness.”

     I think of things I don’t want to admit to others because I will be laughed at or called stupid. Once I subscribed to a publication that promised a “daily word” I assumed was from the word of God, only to find out that it referenced the Bible but was false teaching. What are people afraid to share because it might bring humiliation. I vow not to humiliate others.

     As Christians, we often remind each other that it isn’t so much what others do to us but how we react. I frequently grab the command to love our enemies and if someone does something despicable to us respond in kindness. (Luke 6:27-28)

     But after my trip to the DMV, I am reminded to make others feel comfortable in those unfamiliar situations by coming alongside with patience and kindness. Making sure I am not that person who brings shame upon another, prompting them to determine how to respond kindly to me despite my callousness.

©2023 Susan Cort Johnson *All Rights Reserved

Image by Al Gr from Pixabay

Let’s Talk:

1-What “less than” experiences have you had that have resulted in a greater understanding of how to treat others?

2-What have you learned from the acts of unkindness you have experienced that has helped hone you into the image of Jesus Christ?