“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:1-2
During the four-hour drive home from my elderly mother’s house, thoughts of sleepless nights swirled in my mind. A guard rail on her bed preventing her from getting up by herself is inevitable. Increasingly, she is falling during the night trying to use the portable potty. It is only a step away, bedside, but still, she frequently plops down onto the floor.
I take turns with my sisters relieving the caregiver on her days off and dread the thought of sleeping next to a baby monitor, jumping out of bed to assist my mom each time she needs to use the portable potty. One sister told me it was part of caregiving. Am I selfish, unloving, uncompassionate…?
Listening to a podcast while driving home, I realized I had driven miles without hearing the discussion, absorbed in my 96-year-old mother’s health issues. It’s not just imbalance, but confusion as the dementia progresses. I found her sitting on the floor next to her bed the morning I was leaving. She could not figure out how to get onto her knees and pull herself up off the floor, even with my coaching. Now the problem is consuming me.
Life Can Be Overwhelming
Anxiety takes hold swiftly, rushing in like the waters of a flash flood, seemingly out of nowhere. Soon I am inundated with worry, arms sculling all my “what ifs” to keep my head up, yet gulping so many overwhelming issues I am being pulled under.
When I trace my thoughts from the beginning, I realize they were just a drizzle moments ago, small scenarios of what might happen. But the droplets became a downpour and just as soil can no longer absorb the deluge of rain, dread engulfs my mind. Surely, nothing good will come of the situation I’m in. “Please Lord! No!” is my heart’s cry.
In Psalm 131, David makes sure God Almighty rules and reigns over his life. Reading the word’s he wrote, I realize I have a choice. My mom’s care needs are too great for me. I tremble at the thought of dragging through low energy days during my time with mom because of sleep deprivation.
The other morning, I had a taste of the soul David described while I read my Bible. My mom was still sleeping and a gentle rain was falling, drumming lightly on the roof in a rhymical lullaby. Sitting in a chair with a cup of coffee, the Bible in my lap, I watched the rain out the large, living room window as it soaked the fields of golden, fall grass and oak trees. I felt secure, loved by God. All was well with my soul. Thankfulness overflowed my heart.
In His Word
According to David, we don’t have to be overwhelmed by life’s circumstances. We can calm and quiet our soul.
He begins with the position of his heart. His heart is not prideful, thinking he can find the solution to his problems. Nor is he looking for solutions on his own. In the New Living Translation of the Bible the verse reads: “Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty.” (Ps. 131:1, NLT)
He does not obsess about matters that are beyond his ability to solve. Sometimes there is no solution. My mother has dementia that is progressively getting worse. It is a chronic illness characterized by a gradual decline in cognitive function which impacts daily living. There are books with tips on how to care for people with dementia, but there is a lot of trial and error as you walk the path with your loved one.
Verses in Proverbs give direction on how to walk such a path. They are familiar to most, directing us to trust God, not leaning on our understanding of the situation. Then ask God to direct us in the steps along the way, acknowledging Him in every situation. These steps will straighten our paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
God always provides Scripture verses on how to act and react, the Holy Spirit bringing them to mind at the moment they are needed.
But until there is a situation in which I must react, I am not to imagine what the future might hold. Like a weaned child, I no longer fret.
Walking It Out
Nursing children cry and fuss when hungry, desiring to be satisfied by their mothers. Once weaned, they can rest in her care. They know they can trust her to meet their needs.
To stop fretting I remember that God’s grace is sufficient, for his power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) I can know He will give me sufficient grace for the situation with my mother.
But there is action I can also take. In 1 Peter 5:7 I am told to cast my anxieties on God because he cares for me.
God’s timing is always perfect therefore the Bible study I am working through, “Seek First the Kingdom” by Christine Hoover, included a teaching in session four that spoke to this issue. Expounding on Matthew 6:25-34, she said “Jesus teaches us to be attentively present in the day we are experiencing.” That means we rely on God, knowing He will meet our needs for this day as well as our needs in the future. She adds, “Anxiety is misplaced attentiveness.”1
So, I am practicing living in the present. Asking God to meet my needs for this day. This practice, calms and quiets my soul.
©2025 Susan Cort Johnson *All Rights Reserved
Reference:
1-“Seek First the Kingdom-God’s Invitation to Life and Joy in the Book of Matthew” by Christine Hoover. Lifeway Press, Brentwood, Tennessee.