I would not consider myself a gossip if defined as “one who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger.”¹ Such behavior seems obvious, blatant, and unrestrained revealing someone who lacks self-control.

But I have noticed that sins of the tongue can be subtle. Often, we remain unaware unless nudged by the Holy Spirit.

One Sunday I was convicted of adding unconfirmed details to the information I was giving teachers in Children’s Ministry about a child who used some inappropriate language. I wanted to prepare them, so they wouldn’t be caught off guard. However, I found myself insinuating that the child who swore most likely had heard such language at home thus casting suspicion on the parents. Of course, the child could have heard the words anywhere… on the playground at school, in the grocery store, on television, or social media.

Sins of the tongue are easy to commit, perhaps that is why we are warned to guard our tongue.

“The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23 CSB

James writes extensively about the tongue in the book of the Bible he penned. He states “the tongue can set on fire the entire course of life” (3:6).

How can our tongue get the best of us? Here are a few ways.

1-Talking too much.

“Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few.” Ecclesiastes 5:2

If we are not comfortable with gaps in the conversation, if we feel obliged to answer questions that aren’t really ours to answer, or if we tend to babble rather than considering our words carefully, we may say too much.

2-Speaking too quickly.

     “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak.” James 1:19b

     In our present culture everyone is giving their opinions. However, we often form that point of view before we have all the facts. Also, we forget that responses to situations can differ based on various personality types. We need to be careful about judging others based on our limited knowledge or rashly without all the facts.

3-Spreading tales.

     “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.” Proverbs 10:19

     Sometimes we gain information about people we are tempted to share, but some stories shouldn’t be repeated. These include rumors or other people’s observations and opinions about others. Also, our own insights. We want to beware of sizing someone up. According to usdictionary.com this idiom is to assess or evaluate another person’s character, abilities, or qualities based on initial impressions or traits through our observations.

4-Backbiting

     “The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.” Proverbs 25:23

     Talking about others behind their backs in ways that result in discord and strife damage relationships and break fellowship. What others think of you matters and unflattering words tear down rather than build up. Problems within relationships need to be addressed one-on-one and kindly.

5-Using words that pierce

     “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

     Words can be devastating. They literally feel like a sword thrust into our heart. My mother told me and my siblings, “If you can’t say something good about a person don’t say anything at all.” Maybe your mother did too. We never want to hurt others with our words, therefore we must carefully consider how to deliver messages.

     Our interactions with others are of utmost importance. Let’s develop good communication skills so we build relationships rather than destroy them. 

©2023 Susan Cort Johnson *All Rights Reserved

Let’s Talk:

1-From your experience, what ways can our tongue get us into trouble?

2-What are some good techniques for controlling the tongue.

References:

1-“What does the Bible say about gossip?” from GotQuestions.com.