“Take your eyes off yourself and put them on Jesus.”
This advice came from my husband as I struggled to rise from my seat at the end of the service and walk to the front of the church to pray with people.
My pastor would instruct those who were asked to pray to come forward following his sermon. We would stand facing the congregation during a final worship song.
Feeling very visible standing before a large congregation, I battled insecurity. Who would ask me to intercede on their behalf? What would the request be? Would I find the right words for the prayer?
I feared those who came for prayer would expect eloquent language. They would assume I could recall Scripture verses that pertained to any problem they brought forth and weave God’s Word into my prayers. Therefore, I walked down the aisle each week anxious, self-conscious, and fearful.
My husband’s advice was good. But I did not know how to escape the self-issues. They were vying for my attention and that caused me to lose my focus and look away from Jesus.
Scripture tells us to run with endurance the race that God sets before us by laying aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, keeping our eyes on Jesus. (Hebrews 12:1-2a)
When Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on water, he knew how to accomplish such a feat. He asked that the Lord Jesus Christ command him to come across the water to Him.
Peter understood that the work of the ministry is completed in the authority of Jesus Christ not by our might or power. But he began to sink when the strength of the wind averted his attention. (Matthew 14:28-30)
Identify all that distracts
Our distractions will sink us. Therefore, it is important to identify them. We gain clarity when we are vulnerable before God. We pour out our heart to Him, not to complain, but to gain insight.
Ps 51:6-“Surely You desire integrity in the inner self,
and You teach me wisdom deep within.” HCSB
What distractions were preventing me from going forward boldly to pray with members of the congregation following the church service?
I was preoccupied by the perceived opinions of other Christians who might think I was not “qualified” to pray with them. While most people were worshiping God during the final praise song, I was under the impression they might be looking at me. I was concerned about my appearance both inside and out.
The word for such feelings is self-centeredness. My husband had said as much, but I just hadn’t processed his statement.
Self-issues can be a big distraction when we step forward to do the work of the ministry. There are a lot of “self” words that indicate self-centeredness such as self-absorbed, self-doubt, self-esteem, self-image, self-pity, and self-seeker.
Name what captures your attention
It helps if we identify which self is grabbing the center of our attention. When I went forward to pray with people, self-doubt was at the forefront.
More recently I was derailed by self-pity. It developed when I volunteered to prepare the fellowship dinner at my church. Once a month one or two people prepare the meal with the church covering the cost of the food.
I announced I would fix “breakfast” for dinner. Selecting a recipe for bacon and egg burritos I practiced at home, then purchased ingredients for 20 to 25 people, which was the usual count for attendance. It was a chilly winter night, perfect for such an entrée, but only nine people showed up.
At first, I took it very personally. I spent a lot of time and effort making sure the meal was good but very few people bothered to come. That shows what they think of me, I thought. Vows to never devote time and energy again to this ministry, imbedded in my mind.
Then the Holy Spirit revealed my downcast attitude as self-pity. It is essentially dwelling on perceived injustices or feeling sorry for yourself.
It was up to Jesus to draw the people He would have come and up to me to serve whomever he brought with a glad heart. I was to be gracious, loving, and thankful; a willing servant, ready to be used in whatever way Jesus saw fit.
Once the Holy Spirit pinpointed the reason for my attitude, I was able to turn from self-pity to Jesus and joyfully serve.
I find it necessary to pinpoint my issue, for only then can I get out from under its weight and walk freely, unincumbered by it. The key to the process is found in Luke 9:23.
“Then He said to them all, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” HCSB
Author and Bible teacher Cynthia Heald labels the results of putting into practice this Scripture “freedom from self.” She wrote, “I’ve learned that focusing on myself keeps me from focusing on the Lord.”1
Early in her speaking ministry a conference committee shared negative comments they had received on her teaching. Depressed by the rejection she vowed to quit.
She writes, “I needed to learn to accept others’ opinions and not be destroyed in the process. I needed to know that my speaking was not about me; it was about God and being faithful to his truth.”
Heald found freedom when she realized she was being distracted by a need to be accepted by people, noticed, and applauded.
Trust in God, not in your ability
We can be sure when God calls us to a ministry He is there. Our success is never based on our ability, it comes from our reliance on Him.
When God told Moses He was sending him to Pharaoh to bring His people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt Moses replied, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?”
Did God list all the qualifications Moses had to accomplish such a task? No! He responded, “But I will be with you.”
God in His faithfulness helps us identify all that averts our eyes… Moses and I had self-doubt, Heald wanted approval, Peter looked at looming problems. But all is self-focus. We rely on ourselves.
Then God points us back to Him. He helps us refocus.
As Peter sank, Jesus said, “Oh you of little faith.” Our ability to accomplish a calling is not based on faith in ourselves but faith that God will supply all we need.
In fact, if we need faith Jesus will supply it. He is the source and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).
©2024 Susan Cort Johnson *All Rights Reserved
Image from Pixabay
References:
1-Living Wisely, Believing the Truths of Scripture by Cynthia Heald published by NavPress.